I'm terrified of forgetting you.
When I close my eyes,
I can picture you next to me,
talking to me,
being with me.
When I do that it's almost like you're still here.
But this morning when I did that,
it was a little bit harder to get your exact face,
your exact voice,
your exact touch.
I looked at a picture of us to remind me of you,
but that just made it worse.
I have to look at a photograph to remember you?
My heart is racing right now.
It's only been a month and already it's harder to keep you alive in my mind.
I don't think I've ever felt more guilty about anything in my life.
Are you mad at me or is this what you want?
How could you possibly want this?